Beam Me Up, Scotty!

I was warned - the mission would be tough
I wasn’t quite prepared for this
she turns down diamonds in the rough
might even call my bluff

Cadet is broken 
turn in my resignation
I have spoken, at length, of Federation
I fell in love with a cosmic dove
offered her the stars above
Beam me up, Scotty!
I think she is a Klingon
and she can take on anything
my Enterprise can bring on

This landing party’s been a bust
missed by an ice age or two
the natives can’t rely on trust
we didn’t count on rust

First mate’s down
they’re comin’ for the captain
I would aid them but I am held captive
by the fear that binds tormented minds
kills whatever hope one finds
Beam me up, Scotty!
I don’t feel very bold
warp me ‘cross fringes
where harmony singes
to a world not quite so cold

They didn’t like his pointy ears
drug him off to a carnival
there isn’t any time for tears
an angry posse nears

A trooper falls
my weakness blew our cover
when duty calls – my enemy or lover?
blast fast plastic tear to the last pioneer
out beyond the stratosphere
Beam me up, Scotty!
triangulate and measure
this little twirling soggy dirtball
holds no hidden treasure

Send Bones to mend the damage done
come-a-sportin’ infrareds
blinded by light of a yellow sun
I thought it was on stun


Bryans Road, Maryland
4/15/1981